Is there something that you want? Something that you need? Something that you simply can’t find anywhere else? There is a man on Monticello Street who simply isn’t there, and he can help you.
He’s merely a trick of the light, and so you have to be looking at him to see him. He disappears if you close your eyes. That’s how you know he isn’t there.
He sells things to people. All sorts of things, but tickets, mostly… tickets for shows you’ve never heard of and to places that aren’t on any map, to clubs where the rarest of tastes are catered to.
His prices are negotiable.
They always seem reasonable at first.
All sales are final.
He can be hard to find, since you have to be looking at him to see him. Most people who do find him do it by accident, the first time. Those who feel satisfied by their first dealing often seek him out again.
Some of them even find him.
In the annals of such things as recorded by those who are paying attention, no one has ever been known to deal with him more than three times. Some people, having experienced his services that often, spend all their time wandering up and down Monticello Street looking for him again. Passersby often take them to be homeless or assume they are strung out on drugs.
It’s not a terrible assumption, really.
Eventually even the most desperate of addicts give up, though… or at least, it must be assumed that they do. They haunt the length of Monticello Street for days or weeks or longer, and then the day comes when they simply aren’t there.
Is there something you want? Something you need? Something you simply can’t find anywhere else? Go to Monticello Street and find a man who isn’t there. You’ll only see him if you’re looking at him.
His prices will seem reasonable.