V For Very Quickly

on November 13, 2009 in Fiction

It took me six years to discover the identity of the man who had wronged me.

Of those, it had taken almost an entire year for my inklings of suspicion to coalesce into certainty that my downfall had been no accident. I spent two years finding out who had been close to the action at the time and working out who among them would be most receptive to my approach. Another year and a half, I spent befriending one of the workmen, getting to know him and becoming his confidante, and then I spent a similar length of time picking the man’s brain with carefully worded questions at odd moments… I was careful not to reveal my true purpose, lest some warning work its way back to the object of my vengeful urges.

It had been tedious but necessary work. There could be no mistakes, I knew. I would only have one shot.

Once I knew the identity of my nemesis, I hadn’t set to work immediately. It had taken me some time to come up with a fitting punishment for the one who had taken everything from me… the poor doomed fool probably had not stopped to think how much his actions would cost me, but it was my intention that he have the opportunity to rue how much they had cost him.

In the end, my scheme was as elegant as it was simple. Well, perhaps it was more elegant than it was simple. It took me some time to assemble the necessary resources. Locusts are easier to breed than they are to train, of course, and my knowledge of organic chemistry while perhaps better than the average high school graduate’s was not quite up to the demands of my plan. It was hard to supervise the design and manufacture of the device that would form the cornerstone of my great work while taking the necessary classes, which only added to the delays. All the while I worked to get all six hundred and sixteen of the different venomous snakes cleared through customs, a task that would have been difficult enough without the diminished resources my fallen circumstances had left me with.

Finally, the day came when the device was complete and all else was in readiness. It was time. My vengeance would be swift in the coming and long in the lingering, and it would be sweet, oh so very sweet. There would be no reprieve. There would be no mistakes. I had planned for every possibility.

Every possibility, that is, save for one: my enemy dying peacefully in his bed.

Revenge, it turns out, is a dish best served promptly.

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3 Responses to “V For Very Quickly”

  1. Trained locusts? Works for me.

    If you’d like to tell a (slightly) longer story, please do:.

  2. zeel says:

    wow, that made me laugh. it was all exiting “mwah ha ha, gana get im!” and then, punch line.


  3. Jon says:

    Well, aside from being amazing individually, at this rate these stories will serve to enlighten the world on a rather important point: Exactly how many discrete stories can one person write?

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