Skip to content


Gnomes Are Assholes

(Purchase a print of this story)

The tiny little man peered anxiously around the edge of the tree. Seeing no one, he scurried forward into the clearing.

“Got you!” the boy cried, leaping from his hiding place in the bushes. The little man yelped and jumped, but the boy’s hands closed around him. “I caught you!”

“Alright, alright!” the little man cried. “You did. You got me.”

“Now you have to tell me where your gold is,” the boy said.

“Oh, no, that’s leprechauns,” the little man said. “I’m a gnome. I don’t have gold and I don’t grant wishes. But you can ask me one question and I have to answer it truthfully.”

“How can I get rich?” the boy asked.

“That’s not the question,” the gnome said.

“What?”

“I told you, you can ask one question and I have to answer it truthfully,” the gnome said. “That is not the one question you can ask.”

“Oh,” the boy said. “Um, what is the name of my one true love?”

“That’s not it, either.”

“How will I die?”

“Neither is that,” the gnome said.

“Meaning of life?”

“Nope.”

“Secret of life?”

“Sorry.”

“Grand unified field theory?”

“Never heard of it,” the gnome said.

“Well… what is the question, then?” the boy asked.

“That one,” the gnome said smugly, and vanished.

Post to Twitter Post to Plurk Post to Yahoo Buzz Post to Delicious Post to Digg Post to Facebook Post to MySpace Post to Ping.fm Post to Reddit Post to StumbleUpon

Posted in Fantasy. Tagged with , , , , .

Buy a signed print of this story - $5

One Response

Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.

  1. zeel said

    that was funny. always a twist. . .

Some HTML is OK

(required)

(required, but never shared)

or, reply to this post via trackback.


Twitter links powered by Tweet This v1.6.1, a WordPress plugin for Twitter.