Toll Call

on September 22, 2015 in Horror, Poetry

To continue this call in English, press 1.
To continue a different call, press 2.
To resume a call you don’t remember placing, press 3.
To end a call you had no intention of ever beginning, press 4.
To speak with technical support, press 5.
To speak with the dead, press 6.
For billing inquiries, press 7.
For all other inquiries, press 8.
For other other inquiries, press 9.

If you know your party’s extension,
enter a perfect dreamless sleep
and never awaken
now.

If you’d like to leave a message,
please consider with whom,
and at what cost.

If you’d like to speak with the operator,
please hang up the phone
and turn around
slowly.

Please have your account number
and be ready to scream.
Be ready to run.
It won’t help.
Nothing will help.

Your call is very important to us.
It will be answered in the order it was received.

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One Response to “Toll Call”

  1. Lerron Atris says:

    Has someone been listening to welcome to Nighvale?

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